Drivers in the US spent on average more than 40 hours a year in slow-moving or stopped traffic
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When cycling, one should always use this type of gear:
Suit of armor
Helmet
A fez
The good, old thinking cap
You should always do this before entering a roadway:
Begin to yodel. Loudly
Look for your favorite sportscar
Look both ways
Smile
You should always wear this while riding in a car:
Seatbelt
Driving goggles
Driving gloves
Your lucky hat
At a rail crossing, the safe thing to do is:
Yell "chugga-chugga-choo-choo!"
Resume texting/phoning
Wait for the cross bars to lift
Yell "chugga-chugga-choo-choo" again, for good measure
One should always wear this type of clothing when cycling:
Designer
Overalls
Wrinkle-free
Brightly-colored
When you get off a NJ TRANSIT bus, never:
Mock the other passengers who aren't at their stops yet
Walk in front of the bus
Drive your car again. Ever :)
Critique the driver's haircut
When waiting for a NJ TRANSIT bus, always stand:
Straight; it's good for your posture
Atleast 2-3 feet from the curb
With your back to the street
First in line
When walking to work, it's a good idea to:
Take your time; the boss is okay with that
Bring a water bottle
Take in some sight-seeing
Read at the same time
One should always use this when crossing a street:
The painted crosswalk path
A GPS
A Segway
A skateboard